lalalallaaaaa

Hi people, hope you're all well. Today I've been sooo bored. Woke up around mid-day, showered etc, took my time, watched telly, made and ate lunch, and watched a bit more telly. It's hard to kill time when no one's around really. So finally in the end I decided to go out for a walk, go window shopping, and I unexpectedly bought a bikini I really liked. Now I find myself in an internet cafe, again, to check on e-mails, facebook, and such. Gosh, it's hard not to have internet whenever I want it or need it.
I have a dinner tonight with Heidi, the wonderful lady with whom I lived with the previous year in London, she's a great friend of my late father. She's cooking nice home-cooked food, which I am very much looking forward to, so yeah, that's gonna be my highlight of the day. London's just looking gloomy lately, it's quite warm and humid, but cloudy.
I really really want to go to the beach or a theme park or something, get out so much energy I have inside, cause I feel it building up more and more. I have been feeling quite frustrated today as well, about my life without my dad, it's still so weird, surreal, and I keep trying not to think about it too much cause it upsets me all too easily. *sigh*.....I feel like I just wanna break something guilt-free, scream at the top of my lungs without distrubing anyone...but I ask you, where in this world can I do that in my own space and time!? I really feel so empty right now, like something's physically missing from my life, yet I am still in some form of denial, I don't want to accept this horrible reality. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There...my virtual scream...I am sure that did not hurt anyone's ears. OK, I feel slightly better now. Now I cannot wait for the weekend, to chill out with my boyfriend, he's the best. I always feel so much better when I am with him, despite the fact he always playfights with me, resulting in a very bruised up me, but it's still all fun. Well, think I'll leave it there for now, as I think I feel good enough to not talk about my state of mind, because it's improved now. I wish you all a very good Thursday. Ciaooo!